Maxina through the Snow and Midget Rabbiis

I love firsts.
I've had the same pair of ski pants and ski jacket probably since I
was 12, and have spent many moneyless winter months fantasizing of
new apparel. Last winter I finally bought some quasi-styly pants and
seemingly functional jacket...and it never snowed. This past week I
finally got to test my year-old purchases, and I must say they are,
in fact, quite bomber.
I embarked upon my first winter camping expedition.
Snow shoeing in at least 3 feet of snow for 4 miles with 1200 foot
elevation gain with a 30 pound pack on my back proved to be, by far,
the most the muscles in my legs have ever screamed & burned. It was
great.
Two of us sleeping in a one-man, four-season tent with three sleeping
bags was actually quite comfortable.
Building a fire with wood encrusted with a two inch circumference of
ice was a huge test - but we did actually get a little one going for
awhile!
But the actual camp site process - once snow-shoe action had ceased
and before climbing into sleeping bag - that inbetween part was
fucking cold as hell!!!
I visited Max, my old roommate from Tucson, who was spending winter
breaking with his parents in up-state New York. We went skiing the
first day, but he's not very good and patience is not a virtue I
posess. I like zipping down my mogul slopes, not sauntering down
beginner trails. In other words: I can be incredibly selfish.
Thanks to all of you who have tried your patience while waiting for
me. Um...that's probably all of you. Thank you!!! Anyway...so we
decided one day of skiing was enough and went backpacking in the
snow.
I love Max dearly, but he is a bit over-bearing. A little history:
three weeks after Max & I moved in together, I thought I was being
pushed over the edge to insanity, until his friend Marie came to stay
with us. She intended to visit for 2 weeks, and after 6 weeks we
made her an official roommate, and my sanity was salvaged. I also
spent time with her this past week. She's one of those people: we
don't keep in touch, but every year or so we see each other and it
feels like yesterday we were living together. Considering how
transient I tend to be, it always thrills me to experience that kind
of enduring love with so little contact over so much time.
Anyway....
Someone threw out my script yesterday at work. Good thing I made
copies of everything; one of the addendums in the contract I signed
stated that anyone not off book on the first day of rehearsal will be
immediately recast. I'm glad line memorization is not one of my weak
spots. I leave two weeks from today and have a shitload to
accomplish in that time. Sadly, all area auditions for summer stock
and regional theatre take place while I'm on the road. Scoring
summer work while still involved in this, of course would have been
the ideal.
So...my access to e-mail will be slim to none in the coming months; I
hope the void in your life that comes with the absence of my weekly
novels will not be too dark. ;)
I leave you with this image...
My brother's graduation last month at the University of Maryland: a
couple thousand people in a huge gym. A floor full of kids in caps
and gowns and professors in regal robes. The usual pre-ceremonial
benediction is given by a rabbi, with a huge red beard, big hat, and
the curly things on the side. You know, the real religious Hassidic
Jew type. The rabbi also happens to be...a midget. With a lisp.
True shit.
I can't believe the entire gymnasium wasn't cracking up like I was.
Granted, I laugh at the stupidest shit...like the tune I'm crunching
my carrots to...but it really was fucking funny. Out of an Austin
Powers movie or something.

Retaining optimism...unabridged.

Things are just kind of going to shit.
Things exploding, people dying, a fucking lunatic asinine
president.... I've heard of at least 6 deaths amongst people I know
in the past month. Sunday at work, a sprinkle head popped off inside
the cathedral ceiling of the bar area of the restaurant. It dripped
steadily until the frozen pipe burst and we watched a hellacious
rainstorm come thrashing down on the bar, and quickly begin to flood
the restaurant floor, then moments later were evacuated by the
onslaught of fire trucks and policemen. One of my best Jersey
friends (Glor) had a frozen pipe burst in her house and flood the basement later that
afternoon. The next day two different sets of customers inquired
about the damage, and revealed their pipes had burst within the past
week. And Monday, the Brooklyn Bridge was closed due to a Manhole
exploding. No - it's not the apocalypse; it's just fucking cold.
The average temp has been hovering about 10 degrees for the
past two weeks.
But so what. Here's the real "world ending" saga:
(*sarcasm)
My tour was cancelled.
I kind of thought I'd just cut myself off from any social contact for
about three months and just wallow in self pity. Of course, I think
I filled my nervous breakdown quota for atleast the next five years
in my last months in Flagstaff (between Chinook and simply leaving my home and sanctuary and loved ones for that hell that is Parsippany,NJ) and my hell with radio
station psycho boss leading to dream job loss. So...breakdown is just not necessary.
Plus...by the time I could fit one into my schedule three days had
gone by!
I was at an audition for "Lion King" when I got the phone
call. The audition was at the National Black Theatre in Harlem.
Getting there was interesting. I saw literally two other white
people on the streets, and I stood on the corner of Malcolm X Blvd &
Martin Luther King, Jr. Ave two days before His national holiday,
just soaking in the experience of being a minority for awhile. It
was 9:15am and I was #322 signing in at auditions. I was chilling
with some sistas; we'd been chatting for about 3 hours and I told
them about my good fortune of landing this tour about 10 minutes
before my phone rang and the stranger on the other end told me it was
cancelled. After some commiseration, one holding room companion said, "you best go cry & tear some shit up in a corner, get it out of your system, and go
give these folks the best damn audition of your life."
I liked that advice.
After hyperventilation in some corner (it was a great theatre/gorgeous building/ fabulous facility, btw!), I asked someone if #322 would be seen by 5pm, when I had to get work.
At this point it is around noon. The answer was no. I left. Totally
bummed. This would have been the first audition since December, when
I learned of my tour score. And, as much as I believe most of my
auditions are for untouchable roles solely for the experience, I
really believe this one was realistic. Casting for multiple tours &
broadway, of a show where looks don't matter for hundreds of singing
& swaying "blade of grass" type roles.
From the audition I went to lunch with a friend and bitched about
wanting to sue; how can they psyche us up, have us sign contracts &
memorize lines only to cancel ONE WEEK before tour!? I'm sure some
people quit their jobs & sublet their apartments and shit.
I'm lucky in that respect. At the restaurant my boss & co-workers
celebrated the fact that I was sticking around. It was incredibly sweet!!!
And then the pipes burst.
Why cancelled, you ask?
Because our asshole President is sending us to into an unwanted war
based on personal vengeance, while ignoring imminent threats like
Korea and the deficit & is cutting funding for things like The Arts and
Education, which - of course - help provide funding for Children's
Educational Theatre Tours.
Blah. I could go on about the Bushmesiter for quite awhile. But
this is already too long and my personal stories are far more
important than politics so your spared.
Sense the sarcasm.
More about me:
The closest said tour would have come to AZ was Texas, Wyoming &
Montana. Our expected itinerary had us over there towards the end of
Feb, beginning of March. With weekends off, I kind of expected to be
able to take a train in & show up at Theatrikos & catch a
"Shakespeare" show.
And my funded cross country tour to research my planned, best-seller:
Guide To Great Coffee Shops is out! ;)
I wonder if any of the things that occupy my day dreams will ever
come to pass.
My positive justification for "why?!"....
The past few months I've worked my ass off, ignored auditions (which
were sparse & lame in the dead of winter, comparatively), paid off
most of my debt (pat on the back in order, I believe!) & been soaring
with glee (often reaching states of hyper mania I think y'all have
probably witnessed on occasion) all due to having this dream to look
forward to. I wouldn't have accomplished as much without receiving
that role. Now, all the really good auditions are coming up next
month - summer stock, regional theatre, Shakespeare fests - all of
which are infinitely more prestigious than Childrens' Ed & all
auditions take place while I should've been away. And MANY films are
being shot in the area starting in a few weeks and going all spring.
I land any of these other opportunities and I'm better off than I was
with the tour.
Back to the drawing board...the audition holding room...whatever!
Big dreams, better realities and less explosions...Cheers! (Ta!)